Yesterday

Was a living hell. People are noticing my decline into self-pity, depression and general apathy.

The noise in my head is just constant now.

As ever, as always, it seems, music is both my uplift and my downfall.

The Time..........0710

The Place..........Getting dressed for work at home

The Song...........This on HH

The Time..........0815

The Place..........My car, the M4, driving to work

The Song...........This on Talk Sport

The Time..........1320

The Place..........Brunel Shopping Plaza Swindon

The Song..........This on the PA

The Time..........1635

The Place..........Commercial Rd Swindon

The Song...........This from the open door of a hairdressers

The Time..........2154

The Place..........My Home. Sat watching television with BBB

The Song...........This

Pip's latest post talks about dignity. In my actions, I've tried unknowingly to rob her of this. Curiously, her post seems more robust, less brittle and has a new strength about it. Probably because she's been through turmoil before and knows about the dark side.

I spoke to my friend Julia about the subject. Julia (who works for this lot) says I should not be too hard on myself but learn my lessons and move forward in peace.

Willow (remember Willow ?) sent me a text last night that said "U know I am your friend. U know you must follow your heart. U of all people can live no other way"

She is right. I am that person. I need to just get on with things.

When I get back from here and have said, so sadly, a farewell to the lovely girl in Spain, we'll see how much dignity and courage I can muster.

JVIP