Say it's not so ?

When we parted for a while, Pip sent me this text

"This will be my last text to you for some time. When you leave here today, you take a piece of my heart with you. Care for it well. I will always love you. During the difficult days ahead my spirit will be at your side. Take care. Be happy. Find peace x x x."

I responded with

"Always remember I love you"

I read these over yesterday and had thoughts about it.

I can feel her heart so close to me. I am caring for it well. I hope against hope She'll always love me. These are difficult days. Very difficult days. I feel her free spirit. I'm not happy yet. I am not at peace and hope I shall find it. If I don't I fear for me and my ego-centric head.

Today has found me here and listening to this. What an appropriate tune ?

I've had my perceptions challenged. I love music, but was not prepared for the artistry and musicianship on display at Tooting. I'm a 50's boy so old time Organs have always been put to one side because of him

Also, goodness ! Theatre Organs are another area of sociological interest in England, seemingly dominated by gay men: this old gothic people's palace absolutely crammed to the rafters with village people.

The finale was wonderful, A medley of Irvin Berlin tunes culminating in this which was sad too.

Later, with friends and Thumper went here. The food was lovely I have to say.

Friend "Ms Cheese" behaved badly thoughout and I made a mental note to myself to try NOT to get dragged into eating alongside her again.

She just takes over the whole thing and makes life very uncomfortable for everyone including her partner (and my good friend) Andy.

I'm home now and have watched Shirley, at Glastonbury. And have discovered this lot A band from the North East who I just think are complete Rock and Roll.

Mostly today I really have been concentrating on being Socratic and not looking miserable in front of friends.

I'm moving from Comtemplation into Planning

I have undertaken countless Conversation Rehersals that will increase my Social Support and move from planning a conversation I need to have into actually having it.

The recipient is (of course) my Mum. She's 82 and sprightly. I simply cannot guage her reaction and must get this right if for nothing else than to say "here is your stupid son who has the biggest crisis of his life going on....help him please to be happy and support him and his choices"

In the words of Lou and Andy. "What a kufuffle!"

JVIP