Suspicious Minds

Pip sent me this text yesterday morning “Make sure your defences are up against bad spells”

Apropos of nothing much, I had a miserable day yesterday. It started with a conversation with Pip. Her daughter, quite rightly, has just and proper concerns for her Mum. Pip’s brought up her daughter with moral reasoning. A subject close to my heart indeed.

At work we have this thing of levels. Quite often on Anger Management Programmes we encounter (mostly) men who have been subject to a high criticism-low warmth background. The results of this are that when the boy becomes the man, anything in front of them that does not accord with their world-view of things will get punished. A lot of road rage incidents happen in this way. Couple a punishing heart with low impulse control and you are likely to encounter fireworks. Level one moral reasoning. To get the idea think………. (I have it)………. George Bush. Black and White......no Grey.

Pip’s girl isn’t like this at all. But she is worried that her Mum is involved with a rake. A man with two women in his life and a history of reckless encounters rivalling Casanova.

So yesterday was miserable because this knowledge makes me feel guilty. I get defensive and hedge. The dissonance increases in my head and I can’t concentrate on my work.

Cut to my HQ.

I've now been short and chippy with my Chief at the last planning meeting (for Friday’s big event) before I go on stage to manage this big (and for me) important production.

“She who must be obeyed” sprang something on me at a time of low concentration, my head full of self-loathing and argument. I responded with an ironic “I love the way you just do that” Her face froze and I felt the ice momentarily. She laughed nervously (which was good and meant I had her on the back foot) but I know she’ll remember and the reckoning will not be so far away. Life is dangerous when you're working for a girl who was bullied at school !

Pip’s text came right back to me. She knows a thing or two that girl. How very right she was and how much I love her. Note to self- Pay more attention next time.
JVIP