All the way the paperbag was on my knee

These guys can play. And nice guitars !

So yes......I'm back. Back to the snow-peaked mountains, keeping your comrade warm and reality

Reality means thinking about all the hows, cep't in this case its 50 ways to leave (what you thought was) your life partner.

Here's what Paul Say's

"You just slip out the back, Jack

Make a new plan, Stan

You don't need to be coy, Roy

Just get yourself free

Hop on the bus, Gus

You don't need to discuss much

Just drop off the key, Lee

And get yourself free"

Easy in the abstract, tricky and painful in the here-and-now but undoubtedly, something I need to put into place causing the least possible damage to everyone.

I'm stuck on who to tell first. Do I tell everyone except Thumper, or do I tell her before anyone else ? P and D say shore up your resources. Build a social network.

This, unfortunately, doesn't take account of a word Pip uses a lot. Dignity. I must try and conduct this with the dignity of all those involved in mind. Probably then, talk to Thumper first making sure she can then deal with it in the best way for her. I'm going to take advice very shortly on the subject from people who love me and see what they say.

Last evening was a trial. As I said to goodbye to Luce I told her softly I loved her and completely meant every word. I thought,"when this is all done and dusted, I will need you to be very patient with me"

I hope she'll be able to understand in some way that my love for her remains unchanged by events. And it is my life, and my needs, that have changed and not my love of her. Its a sorry, sad and painful tale and I fear I will have to work very hard to re-establishing any understanding between us; maybe I may never manage it and that's a thought to fill me with misery and horror.

The phone goes, its my Mother. I tell her I'm back. She asks about Thumper. I say, "She's OK, you know how she hates flying. We had a nice time" My Mother has sent us £1000 to help us pay for our holiday.

This seems appropriate.

I have to bring this charade to an end somehow. I'll need a strong pair of arms. and, of course, her.

JVIP