If you cant say anything nice about anyone, don't say nothing at all !

Thumper has been ill. Cough and cold and feeling miserable.

Thumper is called Thumper, not because I'm the subject of Domestic Abuse, you'll be relieved; rather, she bears an uncanny likeness to the sweet cartoon rabbit from Bambi. As in "gee Bambi, the water's stiff"

To get this idea I'd take you back to a train journey to Edinburgh (in another life) where Thumper was accompanied by Mollydolly (See below) Fellow Passengers started to smile behind their hands.

One lady opposite plucked up the courage to say "You know that thing about Pets and their owners ?" Truth to tell, Thumper has that sweet pet-like quality in her looks.

She's Preeeety.

Thumper is clever, bright, funny, kind and warm. She knows more about modern culture than a clever person. She knows about Modern Art, Modern Literature, Popular Music and importantly, Celebrity. (in some depth as well) Critically, she knows A to E list but favours Tatler and Queens for pleasure, Closer and Heat for street kudos.

If, for example, you wanted to know about the recent movements of Colleen or Posh, she'd know. Alongside this knowledge, she'd have the intimate and, indeed, artistic details of the latest Gilbert and George exhibition, who was there and what they were wearing. Ugly Betty she likes.

Sadly, Sadly Thumper and I have come unstuck. She has no passion for me. Not in the intimate sense anyway. I maybe feel she never has had that thing going on.

When we met, some 15 years ago, we both so wanted it to be right. We ignored the lack of passion. Even now, in the beginnings of collapse, we are still polite, we collaborate in steady companionship.

But Rock and Rock it ain't.

What is it that Neil Young says ? "It's better to burn out, than to fade away"

My Jungle VIP says stick with Neil every time and keep singing "Oh Pip I love you"

JVIP