Don't push me......I'm close to the edge

Really, don't push me. I am.

Sitting with Pip last night we made the small discovery that a 5 year old computer, working on Windows 2000, RAM full of nonsense, and without adequate systems to combat stealth bombers doesn't really work that well, when coupled with a modern broadband system.

In fact, not to put too fine a point on it, her little old Dell Dimension is well banjaxed and needs a strong dose of e's and wizz to bring it up sharply into the 21st Century.

Its lovely to spend time together and we just revel in each other's company. We ate fish and chips, played guitars, watched funny videos on my super-slim fairly modern, all singing and all dancing laptop and made love beautifully.

Somewhat worryingly, Pip calls this an "intimate, multi-dimensional and holistic experience" I choked on a fish bone when she said this but, as old bears do, went with the flow and was proud to have made a contribution.

We do make good lovers. Quite outside the range of my experience in these things. Somehow, there really is, despite all the difficulties we face, a proper and respectful symbiosis, between us.

Probably, in other ways, this is best exemplified by a fairly competent rendition of what we call "17" with two-part harmony and done in an old time C and W style.

Yes....... that is both Country and Western.

A late night ensued and Pip was tired. I mean really tired. Tired beyond her means and awoke fractious and with the pressures of her life in a multiplicity of pieces around her feet.

We talked, and....as lovers do......we worked out things in a way that was both collaborative and loving.. Very well as it goes. She listens and thinks properly.I try to say things in a way they will be heard properly.

She is both talented and clever, funny, interesting and bright.

A woman who, I hope, will always give me her respect in this way.

We're in this together now... us Renegades.

Truth to tell, in working out how to proceed under some duress, I was reminded of a video we had watched the night before.

This is exactly what my life feels like right now and someone shaking that tower adds a frisson of danger and uncertainty to the whole thing.

Compelling for a bear and probably scary for a cat who has risked everything for me.

JVIP