We'll start at the very begining

I'm an ordinary Joe. I'm called Jungle VIP because I like the song. Whether the sadness and inner desperation in emulating the "KING OF THE SWINGERS" is justified, I'll leave you to judge. I'm a man.

I have a partner. I call her Thumper. Thumper doesn't do names. I have a lover. I call her Pip. Pip calls me Basil sometimes; not Cleese but after the fox. I am her puppet.

I have two children. I call one de-ee. I call the other Beep-b-beep. They call me Dadders.

I work for a Government Organisation. I am 56. This is my life.